“Do you miss baseball?”

I’ve been getting this question a lot lately, especially since I started back at my full time job. The answer is both simple and complicated.

“Do you miss baseball?”

At this point in the summer, we would be almost halfway through the Minor League Baseball season. There would have been many nights spent at the ballpark watching games, serving ice cream, and talking to people we only see five months out of the year. We would know which players were looking strong, which teams were the ones to watch out for, and the Eastern League All-Star Game would be right around the corner.

Instead, we are all sitting at home, mere days after Major League Baseball announced there would be no minor league season this year. Am I disappointed? Yes. Surprised? No.

“Do you miss baseball?”

After Spring Training was delayed, there was no thought that there wouldn’t be any baseball at all this year. Once states started shutting down, it became a nagging thought at the back of my mind. Then what should have been Opening Night came and went and the nagging thought turned to doubt. Then April became May, May became June, and it became very real that there may not be a season in Baseballtown this summer.

“Do you miss baseball?”

I think after spending 15 summers working in baseball, it would be crazy if I could immediately answer that question with a simple yes or no. For me, and I’m sure many of my fellow Baseballtown employees, working at the ballpark is about more than just baseball. Yes, the sport is the main reason we are all there, but it’s not the only thing that keeps us coming back. I love watching baseball and definitely miss watching it from the top of the grandstand, but there are other things I also miss.

I miss watching batting practice with the upstairs crew during our “pregame meetings.” I miss seeing the employees we only see between April and August. I miss all the regular customers who are always excited to see us back each season and want to know what we’ve been up to since the last season ended. The one thing I miss the most? The feeling of simply being at the ballpark. I love the sport, I love going to games, and I love that I get to enjoy both all summer.

“Do you miss baseball?”

Despite everything I miss about being at the ballpark, I would be lying if I didn’t say there is a small part of me that doesn’t miss it. Now, I know this is confusing, but let me explain.

Part of me doesn’t miss it because part of me has been enjoying the extra free time I’ve had these past few months. For five months my days are spent working my full time job, changing clothes in the car or in a fitting room at said job, then heading straight to the ballpark. After roughly three hours there, it’s back home to eat, shower, and head to bed to do it again the next day. Depending on the length of the home stand, this routine can happen for anywhere from three to seven days in a row. I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining – after all, I’m the one who wants to work both jobs – but sometimes it can be exhausting.

With the minor league season on hold and now cancelled, I found I have more time to relax. My sister and I started taking walks every day when quarantine started and have been able to continue doing so even after going back to work. Evening walks would be few and far between if we were in the middle of baseball season. It’s been really nice to come home from work, have dinner with family at the dinner table, and then spend the evening reading, playing games, or watching a movie. While I love working in a baseball stadium, it has been nice to have some more free time.

“Do you miss baseball?”

My final answer to this question is one that many people will understand and many may find frustrating. That’s because I don’t have a definitive answer.

“Do you miss baseball?” Yes and no.

I don’t know if I will ever have a definitive answer to this question. I think, and my sister brought up this point when we were talking, maybe what we needed was a break. Just some time to be able to relax, enjoy some things we haven’t had time for, and to see if continuing to work at the ballpark is something we truly want. One thing I do know is that come April 2021, I will be ready and waiting to head into my 16th season in Baseballtown. Now I have a question for you.

“Do you miss baseball?”